Your Attention Please

What has your attention? What do you focus on? Attention is a powerful thing.

Do you pay attention to the world around you, technology, your favorite book (often my favorite choice), your favorite TV show?

In a recent conference for my church a leader said something I found profound about attention. "When you are with your friends, give them the gift of your attention. Your brain cannot concentrate on two things at once. Multitasking amounts to quickly shifting your focus from one thing to another. An old proverb days, "If you chase two rabbits, you won't catch either one."" (The Choice Generationation, Randell L. Ridd)

What do we miss? What do we gain from what attention we give? 

I do want to make a disclaimer, I am not advocating the elimination of Technology in our lives. In many ways I feel like it makes us more productive and gives us the opportunity to give more attention to others both virtually and physically. I think it can enrich relationships when it's used right. Both of the above video's (available on youtube) have made me think about my use of technology in my life and less specifically about what I focus on in my life.

The human brain can only focus on one thing at a time, we have the ability to choose what has our attention, my invitation to myself and the world is to look at what has your attention and what the end result of that attention will be. Be it a boyfriend, work, a video game, facebook, religion, a good book, a blog, or a hobby. Be actively participating in the choice of where your attention is focused, if you let it happen other sources will decide it for you.

Food for thought.

~Katie Jean~

Don't Give Up What You Want Most For What You Want Now

There are so many dreams I have, so many plans for the future and so many ideas and plans I have right now. Sometimes I have to take things back to the drawing board to remind myself what is most important. I've heard this most often expresses in the phrase eternal perspective.

There was a point in which I was dating someone who I didn't feel was the right fit for me. We fit together better emotionally and mentally than anyone I'd ever met yet spiritually there was a disconnect. I really cared about him but the longer things went on the more I struggled. I wanted so badly to just ignore the consequences and just date him. In the end the words from my mother, "don't give up what you want most for what you want now", were able to bring the perspective I needed. I was able to let go for both of our sakes. I will be grateful for that decision because of the eternal principle it taught. It taught me what I want most, and in the end what I want most is what God wants for me.

I am all about what your viewpoint is, what perspective you're looking at life from, as I hope is evident from my past post's here on this blog. It truly follow's in my heart that God's perspective is really the perspective I am striving to find and see in my own life.

In the LDS bible dictionary it says under the heading Prayer:
 "As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings." (italics added by me)

If I truly understand who God is then I want to have a true relationship with him. I, like Christ, seek to do his will and not my own. and thus I will be able to have an eternal perspective.

~Katie Jean~

Negotiating Relationships

I recently discussed how relationships with those around us are negotiations with others. We are constantly negotiating and defining the terms of our relationships with those around us. We define how close we are, what we share with each other emotionally and physically. Usually as we grow older these things increasingly are discussed  and decided with more then just words.

I've been frustrated with this idea in my life because so much is communicated with those around us through our body language, what our tone of voice is, and so much more. All growing up I heard young adults despair about the dating. I think dating is the perfect example of a negotiated relationship. From the very first iteration you are negotiating the give and take that will define the future of the relationship. You negotiate how much physical intimacy you will have, how quickly you progress. What the action of holding hands or kissing means. Many of these things are defined by our individual preferences and comfort level. This concept of course applies much more than just dating, it applies to family relationships, work relationships and really all aspects of life. It is a give and take between two people.

However, one relationship that I find of greatest importance is less of a negotiation as it is a personal refining. I'm talking about our relationship with God.  We, through prayer and our own actions, negotiate the terms of our lives with God. When you think about the idea that God is consistent (Hebrews 13:8, 2 Nephi 27:23) , that He does not change then you realize that the only thing that is changing, or being negotiated, is you. It's as if you are coming in to negotiate the terms of your surrender with the opposite side of war and realize that the only resistance was yourself. That half of the contract is already drawn up and was always there, the only choices to be made are yours as God has already made his.

In the LDS Bible dictionary under Prayer it says "...Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings...." if it is only our will that changes then truly the purpose of prayer is to refine us. It is to change us, not God.

Prayer and others ways of communication (such as the scriptures and revelation are ways that we communicate with God and define our relationship with Him. What a blessing it is to be have a loving Heavenly Father who helps us understand and better navigate relationships with everyone we meet.

I feel like this new perspective on relationships changes how I view my role in the negotiation. I will be kinder to the requests of others and act in a way that strengthens relationships.

~Katie Jean~